Dear Family and Friends:
After so much preparing, hoping and waiting – our precious little one is almost home! Because we know you care for our child and our family, we want to share with you some information that we hope will best equip everyone around her to assist us in laying the strongest and healthiest foundation – emotionally, physically and spiritually.
As we have been preparing to bring Baby home, we have researched bonding and attachment in children, especially those coming home through adoption. For many children raised thus far in institutions, a natural trust of their parents has never been established and will take more time to form between her and us beginning the day we meet her. We want her to first establish a healthy connection with us as her parents so it may overflow into relationships with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends! At first, we will have a lot of structure, boundaries, and close proximity to our child. Please know that these decisions are prayerfully and thoughtfully made based on research and instruction from trusted adoption mentors.
You will actually play a vital role in helping our daughter settle in, heal, and lay a foundation for the future! There are a few areas in which you can help us:
The first is to set physical boundaries. It will help us immensely if adults limit what is typically considered normal, physical contact with our new one. This will (for a while) include things like holding, excessive hugging, and kissing. Children from orphanage settings are prone to attach too easily to anyone and everyone, which hinders the primary relationship with parents. The best way for her to see us as her parents will be for us to be the only ones to meet her needs and cries in the beginning. Because we are bringing home a little one who is already walking and interacting, our child may walk up to you at family gatherings and ask you for help with something, for something to eat or drink, or want to just snuggle. You can help us by redirecting our little one to mommy and daddy if she asks you for something. Waving, blowing kisses, or high fives are perfectly appropriate and welcomed.
The second is to be patient and understanding with us as we hunker down at home for awhile. Children raised in institutional settings are not used to the pace of life we live here, always on the go. We want to ease Baby into all the changes she will be experiencing with a new family, a new language, and a new home. In our first months, we may be limiting our outings, closely watching how she handles one change at a time. This (along with limiting her primary care to us) is called “cocooning.” As each new thing becomes comfortable to her, we will slowly introduce her to new environments.
The third is to help us with Firstborn, Boy-Twin, and Girl-Twin. They will still have a desire and need for interaction and to get outside of the house, so please feel like you can reach out and ask if they need a play date or outing while we stay home.
We are incredibly blessed to have so many loved ones around us. While we are thrilled to bring her home, we are also very nervous and will need your prayers and support to help us settle in and connect to our new daughter. Thank you so much for your love and support in this time of transition!
After so much preparing, hoping and waiting – our precious little one is almost home! Because we know you care for our child and our family, we want to share with you some information that we hope will best equip everyone around her to assist us in laying the strongest and healthiest foundation – emotionally, physically and spiritually.
As we have been preparing to bring Baby home, we have researched bonding and attachment in children, especially those coming home through adoption. For many children raised thus far in institutions, a natural trust of their parents has never been established and will take more time to form between her and us beginning the day we meet her. We want her to first establish a healthy connection with us as her parents so it may overflow into relationships with grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends! At first, we will have a lot of structure, boundaries, and close proximity to our child. Please know that these decisions are prayerfully and thoughtfully made based on research and instruction from trusted adoption mentors.
You will actually play a vital role in helping our daughter settle in, heal, and lay a foundation for the future! There are a few areas in which you can help us:
The first is to set physical boundaries. It will help us immensely if adults limit what is typically considered normal, physical contact with our new one. This will (for a while) include things like holding, excessive hugging, and kissing. Children from orphanage settings are prone to attach too easily to anyone and everyone, which hinders the primary relationship with parents. The best way for her to see us as her parents will be for us to be the only ones to meet her needs and cries in the beginning. Because we are bringing home a little one who is already walking and interacting, our child may walk up to you at family gatherings and ask you for help with something, for something to eat or drink, or want to just snuggle. You can help us by redirecting our little one to mommy and daddy if she asks you for something. Waving, blowing kisses, or high fives are perfectly appropriate and welcomed.
The second is to be patient and understanding with us as we hunker down at home for awhile. Children raised in institutional settings are not used to the pace of life we live here, always on the go. We want to ease Baby into all the changes she will be experiencing with a new family, a new language, and a new home. In our first months, we may be limiting our outings, closely watching how she handles one change at a time. This (along with limiting her primary care to us) is called “cocooning.” As each new thing becomes comfortable to her, we will slowly introduce her to new environments.
The third is to help us with Firstborn, Boy-Twin, and Girl-Twin. They will still have a desire and need for interaction and to get outside of the house, so please feel like you can reach out and ask if they need a play date or outing while we stay home.
We are incredibly blessed to have so many loved ones around us. While we are thrilled to bring her home, we are also very nervous and will need your prayers and support to help us settle in and connect to our new daughter. Thank you so much for your love and support in this time of transition!
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