Musings of a Whimsical Realist

After spending a day and a half emotionally processing the fact that Child A (the little girl we were pursuing) was on hold with another family, I realized that I had more questions for the agency.  As I mentioned before, our information is on file if something falls through with her adoption.  Now I have a few more specifics.  It was one of the first two families reviewing her file that decided to go forward with the adoption.  The agency estimates that there is a 75% chance that they will get the approval from China for the adoption.  We should know for certain in 2-3 weeks.  IF (note: BIG if) something were to happen to prevent that adoption moving forward, we would get to review her file and would be second in line for pursuing her adoption. Also, as we were initially waiting to hear about Child A for over 3 weeks, I was continuing to look at other waiting children listings online.  There were two other girls that seemed like potential matches.  One of them is with the same agenc

This is not the blog post that I wanted to be writing.  I rather detest writing it, to be exact.  But after two weeks of waiting and praying, we found out officially today that the little girl we were hoping to pursue is now ON HOLD with one of the families in line ahead of us.  This means that her file is locked for them as they begin the official paperwork for adopting her.  While our information is still on file if something falls through, the much, much more likely scenario is that this path is not ours. This is miserably hard.  For me, the emotions that must be processed fall somewhere between how you feel when the pregnancy test is negative after months of trying and how you feel when you find out you are miscarrying.  I am glad that this little girl is going to have a forever family and the chance to become whom God wants her to be.  But let’s be honest – I wanted this family to be ours. Please pray for peace.  Pray for healing.  This hurts.  And pray that we find the little

So after several weeks of calm on the adoption front (I even got a call from our case worker just to check in with us since we were in a small holding pattern), everything went crazy about two weeks ago.  I was online perusing some files of Waiting Children in China, trying to get a glimpse of what many of the special needs look like apart from a black and white text.  In the midst of viewing so many sweet faces and hopeful children, I came across a little girl who quickly captured my attention.  Because of strict guidelines about sharing information about Waiting Children, the information that I can share will be vague for now (eg. no name, just pronouns).  She is in our age range (0-2 years), and her special need is significant hearing loss.  I felt my heart leap at the possibility!  While we have a fairly expansive list of special needs that we will consider, hearing loss is still at the top of our list.  BUT her file belongs to another agency. I won’t bore you with all of the b